Friday, May 28, 2004

When does it end...

Well, here's a nice little tidbit some of you might not know about me. I feel intensely, it is as much a gift as a curse. When I am passionate about something, I stick with it, and see it through. On my Microsoft review they said that "Willingness to take on big challenges and see them through." was a big strength of mine. I believe I am able to do that because I feel very strongly about things I believe in. Then again, that in itself is a problem....mainly because there is always the possibility that you might have overlooked some tiny piece of information that might bring your entire cause to the ground. "What's your point Ramphis?"....well, my point is, if you're so wrapped up on what you believe and when do you know when to quit? It is quite simple in the corporate world when you feel a lot for a project and you're asked to let it go...."letting it go" is part of your just do as your told, you didn't have to make the choice (I know its not always that simple, but bear with me). Regardless, whether you let your idea/project/whatever go or not, does not change the fact that you FEEL passionately about it.

Now, if you're painfully aware (as I am most of the time) of what needs to be done or what needs to happen so other things may take place....then it is your burden and yours alone to decide whether it's worth it. Which brings me to what I really want to talk about, when you believe in someone, and you feel passionately about that person AND you decide you've done as much as you can to create the opportunities for a relationship to blossom (and you'll do no more).....when does that feeling end? I mean, it feels sort of stupid regurgitating what I've read in books, poems, and essays about feelings, but everything seems new when you figure it out on your own for the first time. I'm talking about not being able to change your feelings, actually there's nothing you can do about them, its funny....that's where all these verses about helplessness come in. You are basically unable to modify something within your supposed sphere of influence. You can change your behavior, you attitudes, your ideas, philosphies, etc, etc, but you can't just say, I don't "love you anymore". Which brings me to the purpose of this entry....when does it end? I guess I'm not all that worried about me, but it does worry a little that there are some things that should be mine to control which are not. All the tools I have let me steer my feelings one way or the other, but once I get there...there's not going least not yet..

"I'll make it to the other side, I always do" -Ramphis

Sunday, May 23, 2004

....and so begins the rest of my life...

Kind of dramatic isn't it? Although, I would agree it could sound that way to most people, I am having a hard time finding a better description to the current state of events. I just graduated and currently in the process of wrapping up my college life. Job hunting is also part of all that "wrapping" up, but with the end of that search, comes the next stage: Work Life. Regardless, everyone knows about all that crap, that's nothing new, what I do find new and cool, is the fact that I have no stress about it, nothing. Its not like "omg omg what's going to happen next".....I feel more along the lines of "I honestly have no idea what's next, but whatever it is bring it". And there are a lot of people helping me out; looking out for me, and I guess that's what's so great about it. Basically, people that know a lot more than I do, don't want anything bad to happen to me. It feels like I'm attacking life as a team instead of by myself, and it just seems a lot more doable that way. It took me quite some time to learn that on my own, something that a lot of older folks already know. Anyways, to make a long story short, when you think you know more about life than someone who has lived before you have, you'll get burned (by a situation completely avoidable), and then you'll realize its better to "Respect and listen to your elders". It funny how people sort of forget the nature of that advice so easily throughout their lives, just to find it again, and loose it again. Stupid people. Just know NOW that you don't, and keep your eyes and ears open. Always.

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Blog Fever

So it seems I have blog fever...and if I'm the first poor sap to be taken ahold by such a malady, I shall take the time to enlighten you to its symptoms. You see, I have spent the last few days, enjoying the last bit of my academic career (I just finished my BS if you've been keeping tabs on my blog). It has been an incredible journey....5 years of discovering myself (I do not believe in change....that's enough fuel for a whole separate entry) is something I'm very proud of. I believe (hopefully someone else in the world thinks as I do) that to be able to admit that "we're only human" (--Robocop) is a lot more difficult than most would have us believe. Now getting back to the topic of blog fever...I have found it incredibly satisfying to just sit down and write about the things that are swirling around on my mind. So, what are the symptoms of "blog fever"....haha there are a few. First off, everything you think about on your own go over it on your head how are you going to write about it....everything becomes an entry on your blog. Whatever it taking up your mind think 'how can I write about thing on the blog'....and then you stop yourself from thinking about what you want to think about because your blog is not available to you. (As most things you're not aware of) It's a pretty weird feeling. Now, for me at least, the most interesting symptom of blog fever is the urge to write about stuff you previously kept under wraps to even your closest friend...I mean, the desire of writing about your most intimate thoughts in a place that's available to potentially millions of individuals is beyond me....yet here I am...writing about it. Regardless, I hope all this is just a phase (for some reason I doubt it atm). Blog fever.....any antidotes....please comment.

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Women and "la janga"

So I'm suppposed to revere women....I mean they hold the key to whatever it is that us (the male speceies) wants, given the rules governing social conflict between humans. Well, what happens when we know what to expect, what to ask, and what to look forward to? ....ohh..we take away all power women have over us....damn...that sucks doesn't it? I mean how does it feel to be totally the mercy of someone else's will? I wonder how many guys do what they are told to do from day to day. I can't say its sad, since women (specifically a body part of theirs) have a tendency to override whatever it is that we are attempting to accomplsh. I understand it, we're hardwired to respond in such a way...and who am I to go against millions of years of evolution? I'll tell you who dammit...I am just another human in the flow of time, aware of the processes governing our behavior, giving me, in a sense, some control of how, when and if I get to where my animal instincts tell me I need to be. An animal, given the illusion of control, that's all we are. Though being aware of the problem is the first step to solving it, it's all a matter of time and no longer a matter of science fiction how long will it take us to create the tools we need in order to "control" that which makes us human. I'll leave that as an exercise to the reader.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who is curious to know...."if its not just us....who wonders what is our purpose given our cirmunstances and our resources in such an obstacled-ridden existence?". Sometimes I wish I came up with the "dumber" (i.e. less enlightended) questions for my readers. I'd like to be one of my constant readers for a day....i would suck to be constantly reminded that I am constantly below the expected mean of intellect needed to comprehend half of what's discussed on this blog. Oh well, nothing is accomplished by waiting for the slowest of the pack....let darwin's law take it course. ;)

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Death of Spyware

Here is an email I wrote to a bunch of friends of mine (in spanish) about fighting spyware. I swear, that problem has gotten out of hand in the last few months. Its insane the amount of time one wastes battling all the spyware, adware, malware, etc on a machine....most (if not all) of my friends don't suffer from these problems, but its painful for most of the "average" users (i.e. Mom, Dad, and Grandma). Perhaps I'll be inclined to translate it some other time, but for now, here is the article in full:

//Start Message

Esto era para Rebo pero pense que quizas hayan mas de ustedes que reciben llamadas de familiares, panas o whatever con problemas similares de adware. Aunque 90% (99.9999% si estas en Linux) de esos problemas se resuelven cambiando de browser, esto no es tanto info para ustedes (pues todos estoy seguro que usamos algun RSS reader y Firefox) sino un "tech support kind of thing" para bregar con low low level users. Esta sera basicamente una lista de tools (digo tools de "advice") para batallar:

1. HiJackThis ( - un tool que te deja ver los registry keys que controlan los prefixes, entre otras cosas, que te pueden meter al browser (i.e. haces y sale C:\searchpage.html?

2. Ad-Aware 6 ( - "free" tool para sacar registry keys, files, folders, cookies, etc, etc. (Este es de lo mas popular asumo que todos ustedes ya lo han utilizado).

3. SpyBlaster ( - este tool si esta cool. Basicamente previene que se instale spyware adicional en parte controlando los Active X control que se puedan ejecutar sin que el usario no lo conozca (casi siempre el default security level es "allow all"). Como quiera es mas facil decirle a un usuario "Dale al boton de Protect All" en vez de decir "Vete a Tools, options, advanced....etc etc".

4. TaskList ( - un site con info sobre los miles programas que pueden estar corriendo en el background (por si acaso no reconocen algun proceso en el Task Manager)

5. CWShredder ( - basicamente mata todo lo que tenga que ver con Cool Web stuff (encontre que es bien bien popular spy stuff). 9/10 va a matar algun file.

Se que hay muchos (MUCHOS) tools/utilities por ahi, pero definitivamente esos son los mas que "get the job done in the least amount of time", son "gratis", y se bajan rapido (no registration crap). Aunque esto resuelve casi todo lo que le pueda pasar a tu user, todavia me hace falta un BUEN pop up blocker (que cumpla con el mismo criterio de arriba) para completar el repertorio (los que hay a veces instalan mas spyware o no sirven para casi nada).....SP2 sale pronto so eso se resolvera solo, y pues siempre les recomiendo (bajo/instalo cuando puedo) firefox que hace un trabajo perfecto con ese issue.


//End Message

Ain't it wonderful to be "gone"?

I much truth is told when one is not "right on our sense"...(someone said that referring to not having all our faculties available at any given moment..I think)...heh because I believe people always mean what they say....they only filter themselves because they're afraid of what people might think of them....I avoid those type of people like the plague (for better or worse). I was out today....I managed to hit "Los Freakys" and "El Garabato"....there was nothing of note there....yet....some insight was bestowed upon me anyways...."People always cater to those who cater to them" (original Ramphis quote)....that basically means that everyone just reacts to those around one really knows or predicts what will/does happen to them...which is quite sad...since those people are then not able to predict what will happen to them and plan accordingly....thus instead creating the world they wish to live in...they are just reacting to those events that happen to them. Heh, such tings are quite sad to see, but that is the way that 99.9999 percent of the population behaves (there is not enough space to get into those details, but I highly recommend "Social Psychology 3rd Edition - Elliot Aronson, Timothy D. Wilson, and Robin M. Akert" if you want some background on what I'm talking about). Now that I've enlightened you....what do you think of your peers?

Let's start things off: Why a Blog?

I've been delaying this for quite some time now. There's no real reason, I just never got around to it. But then again, why do a blog? why now? Unlike all great questions, this one has a simple answer: Because I can. I'm done with school, just finished my Bachelor of Science in Computer Engineering (sounds fancier than it is) @ the University of Puerto Rico - Mayaguez ("Colegio" as we call it"), so I sort have some time on my hands at the moment. I've been trolling quite a few blogs over the past few months (gotta love RSS) and thought I'd be a good idea to have a place to store some thoughts on current issues going on in my life, puerto rico (answering the ever burning question for all of my friends abroad: "where's the party at?"), and (if I really have to) post some thoughts on any issue I might have some particular expertise in (these'll creep up from time to time). Let's see if I can keep this fun and exciting for everyone (feedback about my writing style, comments or anything is particularly appreciated)....the rest of my life awaits.